One thing I have learned past year and half is that people love the image of grieving widower. The sad single dad raising children on his own looks great on a movie screen, but reality is a lot different. I recently started reading “Motherless Daughters” by Hope Edelman. In the chapter “Daddy’s Little Girl”, Edelman describes her anger toward her grief paralyzed father who created an atmosphere where she had to hide her own grief to protect him. She states that her father made her pack her mother’s belongings even though she was only 15. She was not allowed to talk about her mother, because her father could not handle it. Of course, the unresolved grief followed her into adulthood and affected her future relationships. Later in the book she states that her father never dated and kept the house the same until he died. Continue reading
At the end of Pink Floyd’s The Wall, after all the chaos has ended and the wall has fallen the music slows down and it gives you a sense of a new beginning. I have only seen The Wall once but this scene has stayed with me. After every disaster if you are lucky enough, you get a chance at a new beginning. A chance to rebuild and possibly be happy again. Continue reading
It has been almost a year. After she died, I tried to concentrate on raising the girls and dealing with my own grief second. Not the best idea, but necessity is the mother of invention. Molly protected the girls from her disease and impending death to a fault. They were in complete shock and disbelief when she died. “Can’t she just take another medicine?” They needed my full support. Putting on the air mask on yourself before your children, only works in theory.
Recently a friend showed me a widow and widowers website. Out of curiosity I looked through it and needless to say, after an hour I couldn’t take it…………….it was so sad.
Couple of weeks ago I was chatting with a widow friend of mine. She was in tears because her husband’s best friend had chastised her for dating again. She was also enraged because, her husband’s so called best friend, had not spoken to her since the funeral but felt the right to tell her she was a slut for dating so soon. Note, her husband died over a year ago. Continue reading